“Stay out of court”

Couples who separate or divorce can find a profusion of advice about how best to do it. More often than not that advice ends with: “Stay out of court”. One of many experts who say this is Dr Anne Gold Buscho.

Dr Anne Gold Buscho, Clinical Psychologist, California

Family separation is a major emotional and practical stress. And especially for the children. An adversarial legal system is not a helpful approach.

Everyone knows this already without experts telling us. Dr Gold Buscho helps by listing “Seven ways to cope with separation or divorce”.

  1. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of hopes and dreams.
  2. Support is critical – friends, family, support group or professional help. Don’t isolate yourself. Don’t turn to your children.
  3. Take care of yourself physically.
  4. Engage in self-care – cultivate routines and activities that relax, nurture and fulfil.
  5. Focus on the future.
  6. Emphasize good communication with your ex – particularly for the children’s sake.
  7. Seek legal advice – understand the legal and financial aspects, rights and responsibilities. And she ends with:

Stay out of court.

Read on for more on how the changing direction of advice helps establish a health-based approach instead of a legal one.