New attuning for separated parents and children

5th May 2025: In New Zealand, Jill Goldson launched her book “Child Inclusion in Parenting Dispute Mediation: The Key to Keeping Family Separation Out of Court”. The size of a hand book, it covers all aspects of why, how and what makes up the Goldson Model. The aim is to help separated parents attune with their children in a new way that others don’t.

Two innovative elements are the key. One skilled professional makes child participation the core of the process. These quotes from the book convey the model’s skill, science, wisdom, humanity, importance and practicality.

Quotes

Her work highlights the essential role of ethical intervention in the face of adversarial and government reluctance to support family integrity.    
                          Cheryl Lacey, educationist and mediator, page 13

I want all professionals to practice in this way.           Graham, parent, page 15

Telling parents to behave in a particular way pales into insignificance compared to the impact of their hearing directly from their child about what his or her experience is.    Page 37

There is no legal solution that comes close to the impact of one parent recognisiing the relationship between their child and the other parent and its importance for the child's long term mental health.      Page 94

Examples of useful phrases

Meeting with individual parents (page 113) 
"I realise this is a painful and difficult time for you, and whilst I know you are worried about the children, I would just like to acknowledge that it is hard for you as well."

Meeting with both parents (page 114): 
"As you know, I like the children to be part of the process; it is not about asking what they want, but about how they are doing."

Meeting children (page 115): 
"I am very pleased to meet you as I have heard so much about your sport/puppy/art/holiday."

Feedback to parents  (page 116): 
"He/she seemed pleased you are both coming here to talk about arrangements - does that surprise you?"

Professional standards

The book covers the relevant established methods, evidence, research, theory, training, safeguarding and standards from related fields that are needed to ensure competence in practice.

Jill Goldson presents the world with a model that is ready for development and research. The quality of her work and the key innovations are immediately inspiring in the search for effective help for separated families and their children.