How conflict harms children after separation
New research clarifies some of the harm for children after separation and divorce when high parental conflict continues. In an article published by the Child and Family Blog, Sharlene A. Wolchik and Karey L. O’Hara review work on five youth-focused concerns:
- The emotional storm of divorce
- Mental health problems
- Fear of abandonment
- Can good parenting reduce that fear?
- How supporting both parents and children helps.
Fear of abandonment emerged as a key explanation for the heightened risk of mental health problems.
They confirmed that fear of abandonment is a key factor in developing mental health problems. But they also found that “high quality parenting” on its own doesn’t work effectively when the high conflict continues openly.
If the conflict itself cannot be reduced, they suggest, parents need to learn practical strategies to protect their children from witnessing or being caught up in it. Their children need to know that their own parents will never divorce their children.
Don’t divorce the kids as well
Children can be helped to cope with the difficult thoughts and feelings and side-taking that arise when parents are in conflict.
Children do well when they know that their parents will ensure that family separation will not mean the loss of their important relationships on all sides.
A wider culture of more awareness and support might help reduce the problems and promote more effective systems of support for families and their children after separation.
